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Extra resources for Getting to Resolution: Turning Conflict Into Collaboration

Example text

He hired a consultant and then asked his brother Bill to be his collaborator in growing the family enterprise. Trusting and open-minded, Bill listened carefully to his brother’s ideas and to those of the consultant. There was a family legacy of integrity to uphold, and Bill was concerned about his brother’s motives. After considerable reflection and some hesitancy, he agreed to support the new direction. The consultant recommended hiring new people. One was an ambitious young man. Bill was not comfortable with him, but he did not take a stand out of respect for Tom’s dreams.

ROI and the Costs of Conflict: Pay Now or Pay Later 17 4. Emotional cost, the pain of focusing on and being held hostage by our emotions. It’s important to identify the costs of conflict and examine some tangible examples. Recognizing the cost will, I hope, motivate change as quantifying the real cost demonstrates that there are no winners. Direct Costs Because of an inability to face conflicts, many of you spend money you can’t afford on professional gladiators hired to do your bidding. A divorce between two people whose only asset is their home can transform that residence into legal fees.

That’s why resolving the situation that’s sapping your strength and attention is very important. It is equally important to have a sense of resolve when you start any new collaboration or relationship. You collaborate with others by reaching agreements. Your dependence on others is based on an intricate, pervasive web of agreements. Sometimes these agreements are explicit, but often they are implicit. Your collaboration will be stronger when you can 6 Part I The Value of Resolution recognize the implicit agreements within it.

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