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Extra info for Breaking the Chain of Low Self-Esteem

Sample text

Unfortunately, he may be so comfortable with the behaviors that accompany alcoholism that he fails to recognize them for what they are; he has no basis for comparison, no experience with normal partnering behavior. Without this insight, he mistakenly assumes these dysfunctional patterns of relating are normal and then gets involved with an alcoholic because he does not recognize the signs. We do what we know, and we cannot do what we do not know. We must become aware of what we do not know and then seek a way to acquire the information and skills we are lacking.

Their low self-esteem causes them to be anxious and fearful about making a mistake that others will recognize. Contrary to what one might think, low self-esteem and success are not incompatible. Many people who have extremely low self-esteem are achieving at high levels in their careers. ) Example: Shaun is a highly successful stock analyst. Though he has been at his present job for eight years, he cannot relax. While he knows he excels at his work, he also recognizes he does not relate well with people—they often seem offended by the things he says.

Example: Martha has a PhD and works as a scientist. She is very bright and skilled, but due to her low selfesteem, she devalues her education and skills and views herself as less competent than her fellow workers. Fearful of looking foolish and because of these feelings of inadequacy, she seldom speaks up in meetings or shares her opinions with fellow workers. Every meeting is agonizing and afterwards, Martha feels devastated. She considers giving up her lucrative and prestigious job because she cannot face the thought of suffering more emotional turmoil.

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