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Additional resources for Breaking Negative Thinking Patterns: A Schema Therapy Self-Help and Support Book

Example text

25 12/12/12 3:18 PM Page 40 40 | working with bitches Amelia learned that it is important to get your head and heart straight before you tackle the situation. It’s easier said than done, particularly when the Insecure is in a position of power over you. But Amelia wrote things down so that she could be clear, calm, and confident, and her insecure boss had very little defense against reason. Patrice, 36, Regulatory Authority I worked for an insecure bitch boss who used coldness and bad temper to intimidate and erode the confidence of staff.

What does she fear? Being seen as incompetent, losing control, losing power to someone else, looking foolish. She resents your calm, relaxed demeanor and sets about doing her best to destroy it. Because the Insecure is fearful, her capacity to prioritize is impaired—everything she needs becomes important right now. She cannot hold back her needs because you have other important things to do. She needs you to drop everything for her. Sometimes a supportive manager will turn negative when, as her protégé, you do well.

Patrice Imogen comes down hard on her staff now that she has her coveted promotion. She needs her colleagues to take her seriously as their boss and is worried they will fall back on their old relationship as equals. She also worries about the magnitude of her new role and desperately wants to do well. She works long hours and is irritated when the team doesn’t seem to put in as much effort. She insists the team members work overtime. She asks them to stop laughing in the office—it is unprofessional and they sound like a bunch of naughty schoolgirls.

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