Boundaries With Teens: When to Say Yes, How to Say No -- by Townsend PDF
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Extra info for Boundaries With Teens: When to Say Yes, How to Say No -- 2006 publication
Because teens look and act like grown-ups, parents can easily fall into depending on them. This may feel good to the parent, and connection is a good thing, but your teen needs room in his head for his own development and tasks. When your kid’s mind is full of your life, he is too concerned with supporting you to be able to experience and deal with his own struggles and challenges. For Single Parents 57 So gently retire your teen from that job, and find loving, solid grown-ups to support you. When parents say, “My kid is my best friend,” it is more of a warning than a celebration.
Without planning it, we have all migrated to the same spot at Sunday services. After church, we catch up on the latest emotional drama, school problem, or even good times with our kids. I find myself looking forward to this time, because I know they know how my life feels. Something about the universal nature of the shared chaos and craziness creates a deep empathy and identification among parents of teens. Parenting at this stage is different from other stages. Barbi and I certainly talked with other parents about kid problems when our boys were younger, but when our kids entered adolescence, we became vulnerable at a deeper level.
This is called parentifying, because the child has become the parent. The adolescent becomes a confidant, a sounding board, a listener, a problem solver, and someone to talk to on a Friday night. Because teens look and act like grown-ups, parents can easily fall into depending on them. This may feel good to the parent, and connection is a good thing, but your teen needs room in his head for his own development and tasks. When your kid’s mind is full of your life, he is too concerned with supporting you to be able to experience and deal with his own struggles and challenges.
Boundaries With Teens: When to Say Yes, How to Say No -- 2006 publication by Townsend